the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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