But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
