i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
