You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
