i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
