my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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