What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
