garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
