I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
