Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
