actually, I'm a sock model
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
