If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Randomize
