drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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