you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
