people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
