He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
