would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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