He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
