How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it because I queefed?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
