I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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