The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
