Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
