I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She's the barista slut.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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