Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
