How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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