dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
