where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
