She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
