Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
