he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
