whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
