Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
