God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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