I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
