Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
