Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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