He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
