She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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