It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
