I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
