i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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