Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Soap is not a condiment
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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