I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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