I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
