no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
