i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
