New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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