Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
