i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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