I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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